TAME IS YOUR TONGUE 11.23.25

November 25th, 2025

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT

Words may be small, but their impact is massive. A single sentence can lift a heart—or crush one. A quiet comment can strengthen a relationship—or slowly erode it. The devastation of the 1894 Hinckley fire began with tiny sparks from passing trains, yet those sparks consumed 350,000 acres. Our words work the same way. What feels small to us can grow into something far bigger than we ever intended.

James understood this well. He compares the tongue to three powerful images:

a bit small enough to fit in a horse’s mouth yet strong enough to direct its entire body,
a rudder that quietly guides a massive ship through wind and waves,
and a tiny spark that can ignite an entire forest.

Each picture reminds us that our words carry influence, direction, and, if we’re not careful, destruction.

That’s why we have to ask a crucial question before we speak: Will my words build, or will they burn? Gossip is never harmless—it’s a spark. Sarcasm, careless venting, or unfiltered frustration can ignite relational fires that are far harder to put out than they are to start. Paul challenges us in Ephesians to choose a different path: to speak only what is helpful, wholesome, and beneficial “according to their needs.” Think of it like examining food before eating it ... If we wouldn’t want to receive the words we’re about to give, then they probably aren’t worth speaking.

James is honest with us: no human can tame the tongue on their own. But the good news is that we’re not left on our own. What is impossible for people becomes possible with God. Through the Holy Spirit, believers receive the gift of self-control. When we walk with the Spirit: pausing, praying, and inviting Him into our speech, He empowers us to respond with patience instead of anger, truth instead of gossip, encouragement instead of criticism.

The solution is simple, but powerful: ask for help. Pray for God to set a guard over your mouth. Invite the Holy Spirit to direct your words before they ever leave your lips. With His help, our speech can shift from sparks that destroy to tools that build, heal, and bring life.

REFLECT |

Where have your words recently acted like sparks—small comments that may have caused more harm than you realized?
What would it look like this week to intentionally speak words that build others up according to their needs?

BIBLE VERSES

Key Verses are denoted with an *

DAILY DEVOTIONAL

DAY 1 | SMALL SPARKS, BIG FIRE

Have you ever watched a small campfire spark float away on the wind? It seems so insignificant, yet that tiny ember has the potential to ignite an entire forest. Our words carry this same deceptive power. What comes out of our mouths may seem small in the moment, but the impact can be enormous. James uses vivid imagery to help us understand this truth. Just as a small bit controls a powerful horse, and a tiny rudder steers a massive ship, our tongue—though small—has incredible influence over the direction of our lives and relationships. The words we speak today don't just disappear into thin air; they land in hearts, minds, and memories, shaping how others see themselves and the world around them. Think about a time when someone's words deeply hurt you. Those words probably weren't physically large, but their impact was significant. Conversely, remember when someone's encouragement lifted your spirits and gave you hope. Same principle, different outcome. The reality is that every conversation is an opportunity. Every text message, every comment, every casual remark carries potential energy—either constructive or destructive. We get to choose which kind of spark we release into the world. Will our words be the kind that build bridges, heal wounds, and inspire growth? Or will they be the sparks that start fires we never intended to ignite? This isn't about walking on eggshells or never speaking honestly. It's about recognizing the weight and responsibility that comes with the gift of speech. Our words matter more than we often realize, and that awareness should shape how we use them.

BIBLE VERSE |
'Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.' - James 3:5-6

REFLECTION QUESTION |
When you think about the conversations you've had this week, were your words more like sparks that could start fires, or like water that puts out flames?

QUOTE |
"Consider what A great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire. A world of evil among the parts of the body it corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."

PRAYER |
Lord, help me to recognize the power in my words. Give me wisdom to understand that even my smallest comments can have lasting impact. Help me to be mindful of the sparks I'm releasing into the world through my speech. Amen.

DAY 2 | THE BUILD OR BURN QUESTION

Before you hit 'send' on that text, before you share that piece of information, before you respond to that frustrating comment—pause. Ask yourself one simple but powerful question: "Will this build or will this burn?" This question cuts through all the justifications we often make for our words. We tell ourselves we're "just being honest" or "speaking our mind," but honesty without love can be destructive, and speaking our mind without a filter can leave devastation in its wake. The real question isn't whether we have the right to say something, but whether saying it will contribute to building someone up or tearing them down. Every word we speak falls into one of these two categories. There's no neutral ground when it comes to the impact of our communication. Even our silence can be a choice to build by refusing to participate in destructive conversation. Building words are like tools in the hands of a skilled craftsperson—they create, repair, and strengthen. They offer encouragement when someone is struggling, wisdom when someone is confused, and hope when someone is discouraged. Burning words, on the other hand, are like matches thrown carelessly—they destroy trust, damage relationships, and leave scars that can last for years. The beautiful thing about choosing to build is that it becomes a habit. The more we practice asking this question, the more natural it becomes to choose words that uplift rather than tear down. We begin to see conversations as opportunities to add value to someone's day rather than just opportunities to express ourselves. This doesn't mean we can't address difficult topics or have honest conversations. It means we approach them with the intention to build rather than burn.

BIBLE VERSE |
'The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.' - Proverbs 18:21

REFLECTION QUESTION |
Think of a recent conversation where you chose words that built someone up—how did that feel, and what was the outcome compared to times when your words may have been more destructive?

QUOTE |
"When it comes to my words, am I burning or building?"

PRAYER |
Father, before I speak today, remind me to ask whether my words will build or burn. Give me the wisdom to choose life-giving words and the courage to remain silent when my words would only cause harm. Amen.

DAY 3 | THE FILTER WE NEED

"I'm just a person who speaks my mind." How many times have we heard this phrase used as an excuse for hurtful words? But speaking your mind without a filter isn't authenticity—it's often just a lack of self-control dressed up as honesty. Not every thought that crosses our mind needs to be voiced. Not every piece of information we hear needs to be repeated. Not every opinion we hold needs to be shared in every conversation. Wisdom knows the difference between what can be said and what should be said. Think about it this way: we filter our water before drinking it, we filter our emails before they reach our inbox, and we filter our photos before posting them. Why wouldn't we filter our words before speaking them? A good filter doesn't stop everything from getting through—it just stops the harmful stuff. The filter we need isn't complicated. It's asking questions like: "Is this true? Is this helpful? Is this kind? Is this necessary right now?" These simple questions can save us from so much regret and save others from unnecessary pain. Gossip and rumors often spread because people don't use this filter. Someone hears something interesting and immediately feels the urge to share it, without considering whether it's verified, whether it's helpful, or whether it's their story to tell. But rumors and idle chatter aren't harmless entertainment—they're sparks that can ignite wildfires of hurt and division. Developing a healthy filter for our words is one of the most loving things we can do for the people in our lives. It shows that we value their well-being more than our impulse to speak. It demonstrates that we understand the weight our words carry and we're committed to using that weight responsibly.

BIBLE VERSE |
'Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.' - Proverbs 17:28

REFLECTION QUESTION |
What would change in your relationships if you consistently filtered your words through the questions: 'Is this true? Is this helpful? Is this kind? Is this necessary right now?'

QUOTE |
"Y'all, some things do not need to be said. I don't know if you knew that, but you don't have to articulate everything that goes through your brain. In fact, as a general rule, you shouldn't."

PRAYER |
Lord, help me develop a healthy filter for my words. Give me the wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain silent. Help me value others' well-being more than my impulse to express every thought. Amen.

DAY 4 | DUMPING WATER, NOT SPILLING TEA

In our culture, "spilling tea" has become synonymous with sharing gossip or juicy information about others. But what if instead of spilling tea, we made it our mission to dump water on the fires that gossip creates? When someone starts sharing information that could damage another person's reputation, we have a choice. We can lean in, ask for more details, and become part of the problem. Or we can be the person who says, "I don't think we should be talking about this" and redirects the conversation toward something more constructive. This isn't about being self-righteous or acting superior. It's about recognizing that gossip isn't harmless entertainment—it's a spark that can ignite a wildfire. Reputations that took years to build can be reduced to ashes in a single conversation. Communities that were once united can be consumed by division and mistrust. Dumping water means choosing to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. It means asking ourselves before we repeat something: "Is this going to build or is this going to burn?" It means having the courage to change the subject when conversations turn destructive. Sometimes dumping water looks like offering a different perspective: "I've always known them to be kind" or "There might be more to the story." Sometimes it looks like simply refusing to engage: "I'd rather not talk about someone who isn't here to defend themselves." And sometimes it looks like actively building someone up instead of tearing them down. The beautiful thing about choosing to dump water instead of spill tea is that it creates a culture of safety around you. People begin to trust that their reputation is safe in your presence, and that trust becomes the foundation for deeper, more meaningful relationships.

BIBLE VERSE |
'Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.' - Ephesians 4:29

REFLECTION QUESTION |
When you're in a conversation where someone begins sharing gossip or negative information about another person, what practical steps can you take to 'dump water' instead of 'spill tea'?

QUOTE |
"Instead of spilling tea, we need to be dumping water. We need to be dousing the flames, Dousing the sparks."

PRAYER |
God, give me the courage to be a water-dumper rather than a tea-spiller. Help me to redirect conversations away from gossip and toward building others up. Make me a safe person for others' reputations. Amen.

DAY 5 | THE POWER WITHIN YOU

"I just can't help it—that's just how I am." Have you ever said this about your words or heard someone else say it? It's easy to feel defeated when it comes to controlling our speech. After all, James himself acknowledges that no human can tame the tongue through their own strength. But here's the incredible truth: what's impossible for people is possible with God. If you've put your faith in Jesus, you have the Holy Spirit living within you. This isn't just a nice theological concept—it's a practical reality that changes everything about what you're capable of. The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is available to help you choose life-giving words over destructive ones. Self-control is listed as one of the fruits of the Spirit, which means it's not something you have to manufacture through willpower alone. It's something that grows in you as you walk in step with God's Spirit. When you feel that familiar urge to say something you know you shouldn't, you can ask the Holy Spirit for help in that moment. This doesn't mean it will always be easy, but it does mean it's always possible. You're not stuck with patterns of speech that hurt others and damage relationships. You're not doomed to repeat the same destructive communication habits forever. Through the Spirit's power, real transformation is available. The key is remembering to ask for help. Too often, we try to change on our own and then wonder why we keep failing. But God wants to partner with you in this transformation. He wants to help you become someone whose words consistently build rather than burn. Start each day with a simple prayer: "Lord, set a guard over my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips." Then trust that He will provide the wisdom and strength you need, moment by moment, to speak words of life.

BIBLE VERSE |
'Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."' - Matthew 19:26

REFLECTION QUESTION |
In what specific situations do you find it most challenging to control your words, and how might asking the Holy Spirit for help in those moments change your response?

QUOTE |
"By the Spirit's power in you, by his power in me, we can tame our tongues. Don't say you can't do it."

PRAYER |
Holy Spirit, I acknowledge that I cannot tame my tongue on my own. I need Your power working in me to transform my speech. Set a guard over my mouth and help me speak words that bring life. Thank You that with You, all things are possible. Amen.

ACTION STEP

This week, before speaking in any situation, pause and ask yourself: 'Will these words build or burn?' Practice the prayer from Psalm 141:3 daily: 'Set a guard over my mouth, Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips.' Choose one relationship where you can intentionally speak life-giving, encouraging words.

PRAYER

Lord Jesus, thank You for this time of fellowship and learning together. We confess that we have not always used our words wisely, and we ask for Your forgiveness. Help us to rely on Your Holy Spirit's power to tame our tongues and speak words that build others up. Set a guard over our mouths and keep watch over the door of our lips. May our words reflect Your love and grace to everyone we encounter this week. Transform our hearts so that our speech flows from a place of love and truth. In Your precious name we pray, Amen.

BIBLE APP PLANS

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There’s no way you can be all God wants you to be and fulfill the purposes that you were put on this planet to fulfill without any help. We need each other, and we belong to each other in the Body of Christ! In this series, Pastor Rick explains how to do life in relationship to other people.

How To Love Your Neighbors
4 Days – YouVersion
In a world where so much division and tension exists, we’d all be better off if we learned to love others—even if it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable. In this 4-day plan, we’ll discuss who our neighbors are and how to love them.

Love Your Neighbor
7 Days – Every Home For Christ

This devotional is designed to help you discover your calling and understand how you are meant to share it with the world. This is an invitation to engage in inner work, listen to God, and discover what it looks like to love your neighbor—as only you can.